June 23, 2012

Feeling Thankful!


No matter if I like it or not,
time just seems to go faster and faster!

After waiting almost six months for a home, 
we finally closed escrow yesterday and are officially
HOMEOWNERS!!!

We definitely didn't think we would own a home at this point in our lives,
but we are so thankful for this new chapter.
I don't know what it is about some wood, paint, and a roof that makes a home so special,
but just knowing that it's ours and that our kids are going to grow up in it, is a great feeling.
Oh, and the fact that we can finally paint and do whatever we want to it is fun (and slightly overwhelming) too!

Today is one of the easier days to praise God.
I have a great man in my life (he is currently at our new place putting up paint samples and installing baby locks on all of the kitchen cabinets).
Our girls are happy and healthy (even though they've also learned certain ways to push my buttons over and over again...).
We paid off one of Matt's student loans and our car.
We had a fun little shopping trip to Home Depot to get a few things for the house.
We get to look forward to moving in two weeks!

I pray that I can remember all of the blessings He's given me when life isn't so great, and when it gets really hard.  And know that no matter what happens in life, I always have Him and that's more than enough.

Now I have to share some pictures!

 My silly girls.

 My pretty girls.

In front of our new home!!! :)
June 5, 2012

10 Years!

Today is our 10 year dating anniversary... TEN years!
It's hard to believe that we started dating when we were barely 15...
on Matt's 15th birthday in fact!
(Happy birthday by the way Babe!)

So... here are some things I remember about that day:
June 5, 2002

  • Matt was walking me to my first class of the day.  Since we had been hanging out, and since Matt had had a crush on me for over a year, and since I had fallen for him too, and since I had no idea what to get him for his birthday... I decided to give him my love.  Ha ha!  So he gave me a hug before class and I said, "I think I'm ready."  And he said, "For what?"  Silly boy just wanted to hear me say it.  So I said, "I'm ready to go out with you."  Ha!  Ha ha ha...
  • I was wearing Matt's blue track sweatshirt that had his last name printed on the back.  One of my teachers asked me what "Ditty" meant.  I told her it was my boyfriend's last name.  She said, "Oh.  I thought it was your nickname.  Because you're such an itty bitty Ditty!"  I think she was a prophet or something.

The rest of the day was kind of a blur, considering I was love struck and it was 10 years ago.  But these sweet memories are something I will always cherish. 
Love you Babycakes! :)
May 31, 2012

Dwelling on a Ditty Day


I realized tonight that it's been a while since I posted a blog!  I want to keep up with it, not because I want to have a million followers and make big bucks (don't get me wrong, that would be awesome!), but because I want to be able to look back at all of the fun, cute, hilarious, crazy things that happened when my girls were babies!

And since I'm a person who is obsessed with lists, here's what's been going with my family in an organized fashion:

Matt- Matt has been working so very hard at his skills training/case management job.  I know he gets stressed because he has so much on his plate, and I don't think anyone in this town could afford to pay him what he's worth, but he's hanging in there and doing an amazing job.  He got a nice set of weights for his birthday/Father's Day/our anniversary/Labor Day/Halloween/Christmas, so he will finally be able to sweat off his stress at our (hopefully) new home in our nice, big garage!  He also cracks me up when he laughs hysterically because he thinks our girls are hilarious.  Sometimes he laughs so hard at them that I wonder if he's going to end up on the floor needing an oxygen mask.  I am very, very blessed to call him my husband and my baby daddy!

Me- I've been busy!  Between working, taking care of my girlies, trying desperately to win the never-ending and unfortunate losing battle of keeping my house clean, beginning the new adventure as assistant coach of the Royalettes (Go Blue!), and doing a million odds and ends each day, sometimes I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water.  But I love a challenge and I sort of like being busy (but not TOO busy), so we make it work!

Romo- My little Piggers is really funny.  He's extremely vocal and whines to let me know when he needs to go out, when he needs his water, when he wants his bone, etc.  One of his favorite games to play with the girls right now is to chew his bone until one of them gets within about a ten foot radius of him, then growl.  Then when they get close enough to grab it, he picks it up really quickly and moves to a different location.  And the game continues...

Aliyah- I am seriously amazed at how smart this little girl is.  And now I will "brag" but I really can't take credit since ultimately God made her and He is way cooler than I am anyway (that goes for Mattéa too because she's next on the list).  She started basically potty training herself before she turned 2 in March, was pretty much fully potty trained within a month, she said "Rojo, red" this morning (which she probably got from Dora, but STILL!), she can fill in the missing words to stories when we read to her and pause (I realize it's probably because she has them memorized after hearing them a million times), she knows all of the names of the basic colors (white, black, brown, pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red), she can pretty much count to ten (she usually leaves out two and three though... ha ha), and knows some of her letters.   She can also do a seat drop on the trampoline, and hold dance positions... I'm pretty proud!  And she's stinkin' funny.  She can shake her hips like nobody's business, and even though it's cute, she's a little TOO good at it!  She is talking like crazy and puts words together in hilarious ways.  Gosh, I LOVE her!

Mattéa- I think I'm just as amazed at Mattéa as I am Aliyah, but in a different way... this child is STRONG.  Like bulldozer strong.  I said it from the day she was born that she'll probably end up being a rugby player, and I still think she will be.  She pretty much just plows (or climbs over) anything in her path.  And she crawls in turbo speed when she really wants something (like Romo's water) and it's hilarious.  She loves to walk while pushing the baby stroller or Aliyah's little chairs (which don't have wheels) across the floor (vinyl AND carpet).  I really, seriously think I'm in trouble.  She can also climb up the stairs, and she stands on the side of the wheels of the baby stroller... scary!  And she practically runs when I let her hold my hands to walk.  She's balancing better now and can lower herself gently to the floor when she's standing, so I know the standing alone phase is coming soon.  I had predicted that she would take her first steps at 9 months, but since that's just a couple of weeks away, I was probably off a little bit.  But we'll see!

Ahhh... sometimes it feels good to ramble about my daily memories since my brain tends to focus on the negative things in life, and forgets all of the good stuff that happens!  I am truly an undeserving, blessed woman.
May 17, 2012

Home Sweet Home!!!


Some more very exciting news...

Our offer was accepted on the FOURTH property we made an offer on, and the SECOND property we've been in contract under since we started looking for a home at the end of December.  Phew! We're ready for this one to work out!

We're also very thankful that God allowed everything to work out how it did (having us wait on the other home's problems until this one popped up).  This home is much larger than the other, and because it's in a different area, we're able to have a different loan program which means our mortgage isn't much more per month.  I know He always has a plan and that He is always good!  

Here are some pictures of our hopefully new home (we know from four months of waiting on an unresolved title/deed issue that anything can happen!):

Front view of home from the street

Master bedroom

Master bathroom

Utility room

Garage

Extra storage space in garage

Back patio/yard

Another view of the front of the home

Entry/dining area

Kitchen/desk area (that I LOVE!!!)

Kitchen

Living room

(What will hopefully be) Aliyah's bedroom

(What will hopefully be) Mattéa's bedroom

(What will hopefully be) the girls' bathroom

So needless to say, we feel very blessed, excited, nervous, anxious, and THANKFUL!  Praise God no matter what, because He is good no matter what.

P.S- Thank you for all of the prayers and support as we have gone through this crazy process!  Please continue to pray for a clean escrow and closing process so Mattéa can finally have her own room!  Ha ha.  We have definitely felt patience and peace that can only come from Him.  And I know it's silly that this seems like such a big deal... like I've said all along, if a crazy home buying process is one of the worst things going on in our lives, we are very blessed!  I think singing a little ditty (and doing a little dance) is appropriate right now.  

May 4, 2012

Just Call Me "Coach"!


I have some VERY exciting news...
(Drum roll please...) 

I am honored to announce that I have officially been offered the position of 
Assistant Dance Coach 
for the 
Grants Pass High School Royalettes 
(and have, of course, accepted)!
I am SO excited!

I am looking forward to working with my former Miss Oregon co-contestant, Joy (Ponsness) Huston, who has been hired for the Head Coach position... and who has amazing experience and will do a fabulous job leading this team!  I'm also thrilled to be working for District 7 and to be building into the lives of teenagers again! 

So here's to a great year of dancing, new relationships and friendships, a lot of hard work, probably some pulled muscles for me, and another adventure to lay before the Lord's feet and serve Him in.  

Pray for me... I'm really out of shape and the phrase "break a leg" would be literal right about now...

Go Blue!
Logo
April 20, 2012

Good Things...


Today is a good day for the following reasons 
(yes, I realize that sentence sounded like the thesis to a middle school paper):

  1. God is good!
  2. It's sunny AND warm at the same time!
  3. Aliyah painted eight pictures outside this morning and watched the birds coming and going on our fence while she sat in our huge camping chair (I'm mad at myself for not taking any pictures!!!).
  4. Aliyah painted numerous pictures on her own body in the process of painting the pictures on her eight pieces of paper.
  5. It's sunny!
  6. Mattéa crawled over to her toy and stood up (then she fell down, but that's beside the point).  She's been doing this for a while, but I think this is the first time she pulled up on her big toy without needing me to hold it in place for her.
  7. Our dryer, which has been on the fritz for about a year now, was finally fixed today (thank you kindly and FINALLY landlords) and I'm really looking forward to running it when the girls are sleeping without feeling guilty because of the horrendous noises it used to make.
  8. It's sunny!
  9. We got some GREAT news (hopefully) about the house today: it looks like the foreclosure deed was finally sent to the law firm on the east coast to be processed.  Supposedly it was received and signed for on April 12th.  After doing something with it (who knows what), they should be sending it here to GP to get recorded (FINALLY), which means that we will (FINALLY) be able to close on this stinking house!  I'm trying not to get too excited though, because when our Realtor spoke with the supervisor of the law firm earlier this week, he didn't mention anything about the deed coming or going, so at this point we're assuming it's making it's way here, but wondering why he wasn't aware of any of the above.  So we're celebrating, but we're also unfortunately trying to prepare ourselves for something else to go wrong.  Baby steps!
  10. It's sunny!
  11. After the girls wake up from their naps, we're going to play outside at the park, where it's also sunny.
  12. Daddy is meeting us at the park and then we are going to celebrate our baby step with the house by getting dinner somewhere.
  13. It's Friday!
  14. And it's sunny!
  15. And it's supposed to be sunny this weekend!
  16. I'm sure there are some good things that I forgot, but I think this is a pretty good list.  And enough exclamation points.
I hope everyone has a fabulous day!
One more exclamation point never hurt anyone...
April 15, 2012

Frustrations and Bubbles


Today I feel frustrated.

So I kind of feel like rambling...

I want control things, and I can't.  I want to justify my really bad reactions to life's circumstances, but I can't do that either...

It's April, and I want the sunshine so we can get out of the house.

We have two weeks (10 business days) left on our loan lock for "our" home's deed to be recorded, before our interest rate expires (the interest rate is already higher today, than where we locked it at two months ago).  If it's taken three months to record a deed, why should it get done in ten days?

Some things just really fry me.  Not just our house situation, but other recurring circumstances in life.  And not just fry me a little bit, but more like make-me-want-to-freak-out-and-punch-something-and-then-go-to-sleep-for-ten-years-so-I-don't-have-to-deal-with-it-anymore kind of fry me.

Thanks to the Holy Spirit and His divine nature (and the fact that He doesn't want me to react like I described above for the sake of myself and others), I've been realizing something these last couple of weeks... first of all, some feelings may be justified, but if the reactions that come from them aren't loving, then they ultimately boil down to my own selfishness.  

I'm frustrated about the weather because I want to get out of the house more often, I'm frustrated about the house because I want to buy a house and live in it (and have more space, and not have stairs, and have my washer and dryer back, and let Mattéa sleep in her own room... okay you get the point).  I'm frustrated about not being able to control other events in life because I want them to turn out a certain way.  I think this is a theme in my perfectionist, freakishly control-freakish mind... when things don't go my way, I want to do everything in my power to make it right, fair, and just (whatever that may look like in my book, and at the cost of choosing loving reactions)

And the interesting thing is, most of the things that I want are not unreasonable.  In fact, most the of the things I want are great things!  But my reactions to not getting them in my way and in my timing is the issue...

One of my main problems in life, is that I tend to forget that I do anything wrong.  I know, I know... it's horrible to have a proud heart.  I've recently become aware of the fact that I always have an excuse for the things I do wrong (including my frustrated, hateful reactions and thoughts), because they are always justified... or so I would like to think.  

Today in church, Pastor Mark was talking about suffering and how in the midst of it, sometimes we can use our suffering as a way to justify sin.  That kind of hit home for me.  I realized that my reactions to things... my frustration, my anger, my unforgiving heart, my hateful thoughts... are my responsibility,  no one else's.  Even if someone or something else created an environment for a reaction, I still have to own up to how I deal with it.  I am responsible.  Ouch.  That stung a little.

So with all of that said, I know I need to chill out a little bit today.  No matter what my circumstances, no matter how much it keeps raining, and no matter what events may happen that frustrate me, I still want to grasp the hope, love, joy, and peace that my Father is holding out for me.  I still want to be gracious and forgiving in the midst of hurt.  When my burden is heavy, His is light.  And for that, I will praise Him!

And I will think about how fun it was to blow bubbles with my babies the other day...



Ahhh... that's better :)
April 6, 2012

A Day In The Life Of Mommy Shaun

I.Am.Tired.
I know it's an all-too-familiar part of being a parent.
Especially a parent to a 2 year old and an almost 7 month old.
Props to those of you with more kiddos, and to those of you whose kiddos are closer together than mine, and to all of you single parents! 
I don't know how you do it with your sanity in tact.
Heck, I don't know how MY sanity is in tact!
Okay, who am I kidding?
Most of the time, it's not.

I've thought about writing down every single thing I do in one day, just so I can feel better about not getting everything on my To Do List done.  I think I would cut myself a little more slack if I realized that I changed close to a million diapers, and never sat down.  So here's my attempt to remember my day...


I didn't sleep very well, but luckily the girls let me sleep until 8:00.
I got M up, took her downstairs, and changed her diaper.
Then A woke up.  Matt brought her downstairs for me before he got ready for work because M was starving and needed to eat NOW.
I took A potty.
I fed M some food while trying to tide A over with a banana.
I nursed M while reading a book to A and trying to distract her from being so hungry.
I got A breakfast and let her watch The Cat in the Hat.
I put M in the Bumbo because she was fussy, unloaded the dishwasher, and started thawing some chicken for dinner.
I realized the reason M was grumpo was because she had pooped.  And not just in her diaper.  This one required a full change of clothes.
I checked some emails before putting M down for a nap.
I reloaded the dishwasher, washed some dishes, and finished putting dinner in the crockpot.
I took A potty again.
I made some work related calls while A watched Sesame Street (yes, I've become one of those parents that lets their child watch about 2 hours of TV a day, partially because she loves "her shows" and partially because it allows me to get a little more work done).
I got M up from her nap, fed her some more food and nursed her while reading to A again.
I changed M's diaper and took A potty.
I fed A and ate while trying to keep M occupied.
We went outside to stand in the sunshine and look at a mosquito eater (A called it an "eager").
We went upstairs so I could start laundry and fold some clothes.
I put M down for a nap, took A potty and put her down for a nap.
I got on Facebook (guilty!) and then did some more work.
Thank the Lord Matt got off early!  After the girls woke up from a nap, I nursed M, changed her (requiring another full change of clothes) and we all got ready to go for a walk.
We walked to the school, let A swing and play on the playground, then walked home.
I finished up dinner while Matt took A potty and held her off with some apples and strawberries.
I fed M some food and nursed her again.
Then I got to eat (while standing up and holding a crying toddler).
We tried to entertain a tired baby and a grumpy toddler until bedtime.
Then it was time for a bath, potty, diapers, lotion, vitamins, brushing hair and teeth, pajamas, prayers, cuddling, some more nursing, and BEDTIME for the babies.
Which means shower time, straightening up the toys, more laundry, and a couple of hours of relaxation before Matt and I go to bed.

Wow.
I think we should give ourselves a little more grace when the kitchen isn't perfectly clean, laundry isn't completely done, the toilets are growing mold (okay, that's really disgusting), and we all have bags under our eyes.

Plus, even if we are a little bit crazy...
I think being a parent is the best (and most rewarding) job in the world!
I'll take the spills, the messes, the tantrums, the grumpo girls, the diapers, the pure exhaustion, the frustration, the hugs, the snuggles, the smiles, the kisses, the looks of trust, the funny words, the laughter, the crazy hair, and the overwhelming joy
I'll take it all and (try to) be thankful for every moment.  Even the crazy ones.




March 29, 2012

Stopping to Smell the Roses


Sometimes I wish I could speed time up;
I'm always in such a hurry.
But other days, I wish I could slow time down.
Today, it's the latter.

I don't want to rush through life, waiting for "the next big thing."
Who knows, there might only be small things from here on out, and I don't want to overlook them because I'm waiting for something "bigger and better."

I want to remember a few things about today, not because they were necessarily significant, but just so I can practice taking everything in.

Matt
This morning, you didn't get annoyed when I woke you up early because I needed to start laundry.  You laughed when you could hear Aliyah "singing", and I know you loved it when she came in the room and said, "Dada?"  You were concerned about Mattéa when I left her in Aliyah's room alone.  You kissed all of us, gave me a good hug, and told me you loved me before you left for work.  Then you called me a couple of hours later when you were on your way to see a client, just to check up on me.  You are a great husband, a hard-worker, and an awesome daddy with a soft heart; even though it's not always easy being married (especially to me) I am blessed to call you mine.



Romo
I know I hate dog hair in our bed (call me crazy!), but the last few mornings I have let you sleep with us.  You are the best snuggly puppy, and very warm, which is why I let you in there.  But once those sheets are washed, you're getting booted out buddy.  But it's been fun and you can still snuggle with me on the couch, under my blanket, before bedtime.  You'll always be my Piggers.  Oh, and thank you for cleaning up whatever food or drink Aliyah spills on the floor... it really comes in handy!  And even though I know you would also love to clean up Mattéa's spit up (I can only imagine how great regurgitated carrots and bananas must taste), please refrain for sanitary reasons.  Also, thank you for loving the girls so much.



Aliyah
Today I want to remember how cute you are when you jump on your bed.  Your face lights up and your crazy curls bounce around and get in your eyes.  You love to do "seat ops" (seat drops) and I love to hear you laugh when you're having fun.  Seeing you happy makes my heart happy.  There are so many babies who won't get the opportunities you will have, and I want you to be thankful for each and every blessing as you grow up.  I also want to remember how sweet you are to your babies, and how sweet you've been to your sister.  Even though you still don't like her to play with your toys, you're doing much better at sharing.  I know it's not easy.  I love you Squish!



Mattéa: 
You slept so good last night... 8:30-6:45!  Even though I didn't want to get up at 7 and feed you (I wanted to sleep more!), seeing your smiling chubber face made it worth it... and it does every morning.  You are turning into such a pretty little thing, and I'm so excited that you've been crawling!  I love the look of persistence on your face as you concentrate on putting one hand in front of the other.  I love that you love every food we feed you, just like your big sister.  I can't wait to see you get bigger and try new things, although I'm definitely going to miss seeing you so tiny (it's very sad putting away your Boppy, your play mat, your bouncer, and most of your 3 month clothes...).  I love you so much Tater!



I take that back...
These little things are significant.
I guess it just takes a little "stopping to smell the roses" to realize it.

Thank you Lord for contentment, peace, and joy.
March 23, 2012

A Little Bit of a Home Buying Process Update (and Rant)

March 23, 2012-
The original closing date for “our” home.
Actually, our loan lock expired on March 16th, so really it should have closed last week.  And it was on track to close the first week of March.  And now it’s March 23rd.  Only one word describes how I feel:


Ugh.

We knew something was odd when the appraisal came back towards the end of February, and the builder was listed as the owner (we knew the home had gone into foreclosure, so we figured a bank should be listed as the owner).  “Ironically,” the preliminary title report came back the same day, listing the builder as the owner as well.  The interesting thing is, the preliminary title report (which our agent had been asking for since the middle of January), was dated January 28, 2012.  The listing agent’s office was obviously keeping it from us (for about a month), knowing that the bank was not the legal owner.  Most likely they figured we’d find out about it anyway once the appraisal came back, so they finally sent it to us when the appraisal was completed.  Well played.

But homes cannot be listed by someone who is not the owner.  Duh.  I can’t sell my neighbor’s car, because I don’t own it.  Therefore, you cannot buy a home from someone who is not the owner.  Duh.  My mom can’t buy my neighbor’s car from me because I don’t own it.

So we have a BIG problem.  We have applied for our loan, gone through the entire process with lots and lots and lots of documents, paid for an inspection, paid for an appraisal, and done everything right on our end (including putting in our 30 days’ notice on our rental, extending that a few times, and finally withdrawing it because we just don't know when we're moving).

So here we’ve been sitting for over a month now, waiting for the foreclosure deed to get recorded into the bank’s name.  We’ve been told that a substitution deed has to be recorded first, but as far as we know, that has already been done.  Our agent and brokers have put in hours and hours trying to find the missing link, but the Sellers are holding out on us.  They won’t give us any information and it’s very, very frustrating to say the least.

Since our loan lock expired on March 16th, we had to extend it so we can hold our interest rate where it’s been locked at.  That costs $1,300 and you can only do it twice.  So if in 60 days (and $2,600 later) we haven’t closed the deal, we get to start the entire loan process over again and risk a higher interest rate… if we decide to move forward with the house after that, and if a lawsuit hasn’t begun.  We asked the Sellers to pay for the loan lock extension since this whole thing is their fault.  After countless attempts to contact the listing agent’s office, our agent was told today that it was “being worked on” and that they would have an answer back from the bank today about whether or not they would pay the extension fee.  We haven’t heard back.

So the whole point of this rant is patience.  I’m definitely not a patient person, but this experience has taught me several things:

  1. I can’t control everything;
  2. I don’t want to control everything;
  3. Some things are worth waiting for, even if you don’t know if you’ll end up with it;
  4. There are a lot worse things that can happen in life than not being able to buy the home you want.

My family and my friends are so much more important than any dumb house, which we still might end up buying.  At this point we just don’t have any sort of a timeframe because everything has taken so much longer than we thought.  So while we wait, we will concentrate on the things in life that matter the most, and praise God either way, no matter what.

I’m sticking with my theme:
Even if things aren’t going my way, I will praise Him because He is good.
March 18, 2012

I Will Sing A Ditty


The definition of the word “ditty” from Webster’s online dictionary is:
“an especially simple and unaffected song.”

When I first met my husband Matt, then a seventh grader at North Middle School, I thought he was cute.  When he started teasing me in eighth grade (because he liked me, little did I know), I made fun of his last name because it made me feel better.  I only did it behind his back of course, because he was "popular" and apparently I was a "nerd."  But seriously, what kind of a last name was Ditty?  Matt Ditty?  I specifically remember lying in bed one night, laughing hysterically at the sound of it.  It was hilarious.

Fast-forward to August 5, 2006:  I got royally paid back when I married that boy and became Shaun Ditty.  Do you know how many times I’ve been asked if that’s actually my real name?  Or how many times I’ve been asked if I’m aware of the fact that I share a name with Shawn “P. Diddy” Combs?  Yes, that’s my real name and I didn’t pick either of them, and yes, I realize that Puff Daddy and I are practically related now… thank you very much.  I think I’ve learned my lesson.


Fast-forward again to the spring of 2009: I ran across this Psalm (which is still one of my favorites) when I was feeling especially down-

Psalm 13

1How long, O LORD?  Will you forget me forever?
2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.  Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

The beginning of the Psalm sounded like I had written it; it sounded bitter, angry, depressed… almost blaming God for the hurt and pain.  In the middle of the passage, the author (David) begins reaching out to God for help.  The end is what got me… 
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.”  
I remember crying when I got to the end.  Was I really supposed to worship God for His saving grace and the good things in my life when I was feeling so low?  How was I supposed to find the strength to do that?  Yet I knew it was true and had to be done.  Praising God in the midst of my heartache was definitely not my first response, but I knew it had to be.  And it felt good; it was a relief to praise the Almighty One when I felt the weakest, and confess that I needed Him.  As much as it hurt to praise Him during the storm so to speak, I had no other choice because above all, He was in control and He was good.  And no matter what kinds of storms he allowed me to go through, He was always good and always worthy to be praised.  Always.

The reason for my heartache seems kind of silly now.  I was having a hard time being patient for "mommyhood."  The timing just wasn’t right as we were planning on moving to Portland in the summer so Matt could finish school.  I wanted to be a mommy so badly, and it was really hard to wait.  And I didn’t know how long I had to wait either, which made it even more difficult.  Now I have two amazingly precious baby girls (excuse my partiality), and it's easy to forget just how badly I longed for them now that I see their beautiful faces every day.  As it turns out, we unexpectedly got pregnant in June and found out in July, two weeks to the day after we moved to the Portland area.  God knew exactly what He was doing… finding out I was pregnant before we moved would have made it that much more difficult to go where He wanted us to go.

I was heartbroken over something that seems so selfish now…  During the past couple of months, a few of our friends have suffered the losses of their children- one was 22 years old, and the other was at 34 weeks gestation.  Although I understand the incredible love a parent has for a child, I cannot imagine the hurt (anger, confusion, devastation, etc.) my friends felt and are still feeling from the deaths of their babies.  My friends are amazingly strong people, although in their humility and anguish, they attribute their peace and comfort to God (and rightly so as He is the ultimate Comforter).  In their pain, they praise the name of Jesus because He is good no matter what Hell they may face here on Earth.  I want to follow their example and the Psalm 13 example in every circumstance, good or bad. 

I want my life to be a song to Him, a ditty if you will, and I want to sing:
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.” 

May my life be a ditty; a simple song to the One who is good. 


Maybe our last name isn't so bad after all…
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