April 20, 2012

Good Things...

4/20/2012

Today is a good day for the following reasons 
(yes, I realize that sentence sounded like the thesis to a middle school paper):

  1. God is good!
  2. It's sunny AND warm at the same time!
  3. Aliyah painted eight pictures outside this morning and watched the birds coming and going on our fence while she sat in our huge camping chair (I'm mad at myself for not taking any pictures!!!).
  4. Aliyah painted numerous pictures on her own body in the process of painting the pictures on her eight pieces of paper.
  5. It's sunny!
  6. Mattéa crawled over to her toy and stood up (then she fell down, but that's beside the point).  She's been doing this for a while, but I think this is the first time she pulled up on her big toy without needing me to hold it in place for her.
  7. Our dryer, which has been on the fritz for about a year now, was finally fixed today (thank you kindly and FINALLY landlords) and I'm really looking forward to running it when the girls are sleeping without feeling guilty because of the horrendous noises it used to make.
  8. It's sunny!
  9. We got some GREAT news (hopefully) about the house today: it looks like the foreclosure deed was finally sent to the law firm on the east coast to be processed.  Supposedly it was received and signed for on April 12th.  After doing something with it (who knows what), they should be sending it here to GP to get recorded (FINALLY), which means that we will (FINALLY) be able to close on this stinking house!  I'm trying not to get too excited though, because when our Realtor spoke with the supervisor of the law firm earlier this week, he didn't mention anything about the deed coming or going, so at this point we're assuming it's making it's way here, but wondering why he wasn't aware of any of the above.  So we're celebrating, but we're also unfortunately trying to prepare ourselves for something else to go wrong.  Baby steps!
  10. It's sunny!
  11. After the girls wake up from their naps, we're going to play outside at the park, where it's also sunny.
  12. Daddy is meeting us at the park and then we are going to celebrate our baby step with the house by getting dinner somewhere.
  13. It's Friday!
  14. And it's sunny!
  15. And it's supposed to be sunny this weekend!
  16. I'm sure there are some good things that I forgot, but I think this is a pretty good list.  And enough exclamation points.
I hope everyone has a fabulous day!
One more exclamation point never hurt anyone...
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April 15, 2012

Frustrations and Bubbles

4/15/2012

Today I feel frustrated.

So I kind of feel like rambling...

I want control things, and I can't.  I want to justify my really bad reactions to life's circumstances, but I can't do that either...

It's April, and I want the sunshine so we can get out of the house.

We have two weeks (10 business days) left on our loan lock for "our" home's deed to be recorded, before our interest rate expires (the interest rate is already higher today, than where we locked it at two months ago).  If it's taken three months to record a deed, why should it get done in ten days?

Some things just really fry me.  Not just our house situation, but other recurring circumstances in life.  And not just fry me a little bit, but more like make-me-want-to-freak-out-and-punch-something-and-then-go-to-sleep-for-ten-years-so-I-don't-have-to-deal-with-it-anymore kind of fry me.

Thanks to the Holy Spirit and His divine nature (and the fact that He doesn't want me to react like I described above for the sake of myself and others), I've been realizing something these last couple of weeks... first of all, some feelings may be justified, but if the reactions that come from them aren't loving, then they ultimately boil down to my own selfishness.  

I'm frustrated about the weather because I want to get out of the house more often, I'm frustrated about the house because I want to buy a house and live in it (and have more space, and not have stairs, and have my washer and dryer back, and let Mattéa sleep in her own room... okay you get the point).  I'm frustrated about not being able to control other events in life because I want them to turn out a certain way.  I think this is a theme in my perfectionist, freakishly control-freakish mind... when things don't go my way, I want to do everything in my power to make it right, fair, and just (whatever that may look like in my book, and at the cost of choosing loving reactions). 

And the interesting thing is, most of the things that I want are not unreasonable.  In fact, most the of the things I want are great things!  But my reactions to not getting them in my way and in my timing is the issue...

One of my main problems in life, is that I tend to forget that I do anything wrong.  I know, I know... it's horrible to have a proud heart.  I've recently become aware of the fact that I always have an excuse for the things I do wrong (including my frustrated, hateful reactions and thoughts), because they are always justified... or so I would like to think.  

Today in church, Pastor Mark was talking about suffering and how in the midst of it, sometimes we can use our suffering as a way to justify sin.  That kind of hit home for me.  I realized that my reactions to things... my frustration, my anger, my unforgiving heart, my hateful thoughts... are my responsibility,  no one else's.  Even if someone or something else created an environment for a reaction, I still have to own up to how I deal with it.  I am responsible.  Ouch.  That stung a little.

So with all of that said, I know I need to chill out a little bit today.  No matter what my circumstances, no matter how much it keeps raining, and no matter what events may happen that frustrate me, I still want to grasp the hope, love, joy, and peace that my Father is holding out for me.  I still want to be gracious and forgiving in the midst of hurt.  When my burden is heavy, His is light.  And for that, I will praise Him!

And I will think about how fun it was to blow bubbles with my babies the other day...



Ahhh... that's better :)
2 comments
April 6, 2012

A Day In The Life Of Mommy Shaun

4/06/2012
I.Am.Tired.
I know it's an all-too-familiar part of being a parent.
Especially a parent to a 2 year old and an almost 7 month old.
Props to those of you with more kiddos, and to those of you whose kiddos are closer together than mine, and to all of you single parents! 
I don't know how you do it with your sanity in tact.
Heck, I don't know how MY sanity is in tact!
Okay, who am I kidding?
Most of the time, it's not.

I've thought about writing down every single thing I do in one day, just so I can feel better about not getting everything on my To Do List done.  I think I would cut myself a little more slack if I realized that I changed close to a million diapers, and never sat down.  So here's my attempt to remember my day...


I didn't sleep very well, but luckily the girls let me sleep until 8:00.
I got M up, took her downstairs, and changed her diaper.
Then A woke up.  Matt brought her downstairs for me before he got ready for work because M was starving and needed to eat NOW.
I took A potty.
I fed M some food while trying to tide A over with a banana.
I nursed M while reading a book to A and trying to distract her from being so hungry.
I got A breakfast and let her watch The Cat in the Hat.
I put M in the Bumbo because she was fussy, unloaded the dishwasher, and started thawing some chicken for dinner.
I realized the reason M was grumpo was because she had pooped.  And not just in her diaper.  This one required a full change of clothes.
I checked some emails before putting M down for a nap.
I reloaded the dishwasher, washed some dishes, and finished putting dinner in the crockpot.
I took A potty again.
I made some work related calls while A watched Sesame Street (yes, I've become one of those parents that lets their child watch about 2 hours of TV a day, partially because she loves "her shows" and partially because it allows me to get a little more work done).
I got M up from her nap, fed her some more food and nursed her while reading to A again.
I changed M's diaper and took A potty.
I fed A and ate while trying to keep M occupied.
We went outside to stand in the sunshine and look at a mosquito eater (A called it an "eager").
We went upstairs so I could start laundry and fold some clothes.
I put M down for a nap, took A potty and put her down for a nap.
I got on Facebook (guilty!) and then did some more work.
Thank the Lord Matt got off early!  After the girls woke up from a nap, I nursed M, changed her (requiring another full change of clothes) and we all got ready to go for a walk.
We walked to the school, let A swing and play on the playground, then walked home.
I finished up dinner while Matt took A potty and held her off with some apples and strawberries.
I fed M some food and nursed her again.
Then I got to eat (while standing up and holding a crying toddler).
We tried to entertain a tired baby and a grumpy toddler until bedtime.
Then it was time for a bath, potty, diapers, lotion, vitamins, brushing hair and teeth, pajamas, prayers, cuddling, some more nursing, and BEDTIME for the babies.
Which means shower time, straightening up the toys, more laundry, and a couple of hours of relaxation before Matt and I go to bed.

Wow.
I think we should give ourselves a little more grace when the kitchen isn't perfectly clean, laundry isn't completely done, the toilets are growing mold (okay, that's really disgusting), and we all have bags under our eyes.

Plus, even if we are a little bit crazy...
I think being a parent is the best (and most rewarding) job in the world!
I'll take the spills, the messes, the tantrums, the grumpo girls, the diapers, the pure exhaustion, the frustration, the hugs, the snuggles, the smiles, the kisses, the looks of trust, the funny words, the laughter, the crazy hair, and the overwhelming joy. 
I'll take it all and (try to) be thankful for every moment.  Even the crazy ones.




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