March 18, 2012
I Will Sing A Ditty
The definition of the word “ditty” from Webster’s online dictionary is:
“an especially simple and unaffected song.”
When I first met my husband Matt, then a seventh grader at North Middle
School, I thought he was cute. When he
started teasing me in eighth grade (because he liked me, little did I know), I
made fun of his last name because it made me feel better. I only did it behind his back of course, because he was "popular" and apparently I was a "nerd." But seriously, what kind of a last name was Ditty?
Matt Ditty? I specifically remember lying in bed one
night, laughing hysterically at the sound of it. It was hilarious.
Fast-forward to August 5, 2006:
I got royally paid back when I married that boy and became Shaun
Ditty. Do you know how many times I’ve
been asked if that’s actually my real name?
Or how many times I’ve been asked if I’m aware of the fact that I share
a name with Shawn “P. Diddy” Combs? Yes,
that’s my real name and I didn’t pick either of them, and yes, I realize that
Puff Daddy and I are practically related now… thank you very much. I think I’ve learned my lesson.
Fast-forward again to the spring of 2009: I ran across this Psalm (which is still one of my favorites) when I was feeling especially down-
Fast-forward again to the spring of 2009: I ran across this Psalm (which is still one of my favorites) when I was feeling especially down-
Psalm
13
1How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
2How long must I wrestle with
my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3Look on me and answer, O LORD
my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will
sleep in death;
4my enemy will say, “I have
overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5But
I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6I will sing to the LORD, for he
has been good to me.
The beginning of the Psalm sounded like I had written it; it sounded
bitter, angry, depressed… almost blaming God for the hurt and pain. In the middle of the passage, the author
(David) begins reaching out to God for help. The end is what got me…
“But I
trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good
to me.”
I remember crying when I got
to the end. Was I really supposed to worship God for His saving grace and the good things in my life when I was feeling so low? How was I supposed to find the strength to do that? Yet I knew it was true and had to be done. Praising God in the midst of
my heartache was definitely not my first response, but I knew it had to
be. And it felt good; it was a relief to praise the Almighty One when I felt the weakest, and confess that I needed Him. As much as it hurt to praise Him
during the storm so to speak, I had no other choice because above all, He was
in control and He was good. And no matter what kinds of storms he allowed me to go through, He was
always good and always worthy to be praised.
Always.
The reason for my heartache seems kind of silly now. I was having a hard time being patient for "mommyhood." The timing just wasn’t right
as we were planning on moving to Portland in the summer so Matt could finish
school. I wanted to be a mommy so badly,
and it was really hard to wait. And I
didn’t know how long I had to wait either, which made it even more difficult. Now I have two amazingly precious baby girls (excuse my partiality), and it's easy to forget just how badly I longed for them now that I see their beautiful faces every day. As it turns out, we unexpectedly got pregnant
in June and found out in July, two weeks to the day after we moved to the
Portland area. God knew exactly what He
was doing… finding out I was pregnant before we moved would have made it that
much more difficult to go where He wanted us to go.
I was heartbroken over something that seems so selfish now… During the past couple of months, a few of
our friends have suffered the losses of their children- one was 22 years old, and the other was at 34 weeks gestation. Although I understand the incredible love a
parent has for a child, I cannot imagine the hurt (anger, confusion,
devastation, etc.) my friends felt and are still feeling from the deaths of
their babies. My friends are amazingly
strong people, although in their humility and anguish, they attribute their peace
and comfort to God (and rightly so as He is the ultimate Comforter). In their pain, they praise the name of Jesus
because He is good no matter what Hell they may face here on Earth. I want to follow their example and the Psalm
13 example in every circumstance, good or bad.
I want my life to be a song to Him, a ditty if you will, and I want to
sing:
“But
I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good
to me.”
May my life be a ditty; a simple song to the One who is good.
Maybe our last name isn't so bad after all…
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5 comments:
I knew I liked that name! XO
We have a lot in common! The whole meeting the husband thing in 7th grade sounds very familiar to me ;)
Shannon Peterson
You are absolutely inspirational! It is so hard to remember HIS plan in the midst of struggle. I admire your grace Shaun, and I look forward to reading more! :)
Thank you, Shaun. Thank you for reminding me that He has been good! I really do need this daily. You are a blessing to me.
Shaun I love your name!! Keep these blogs coming. you have a gift! great Job!
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